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How to Maintain Your Integrity - A Methodist Lesson

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Post Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 6:06 pm

Joined: 29 Jan 2006
Posts: 2055
President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit the Methodist Church outside Washington as part of his campaign.

Bush's campaign manager made a visit to the Bishop, and said to him,"We've been getting a lot of bad publicity among Methodists because of Bush's position on stem cell research and the like.

We'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if during your sermon you'd say the President is a saint."

The Bishop thinks it over for a few moments and finally says, "The Church is in desperate need of funds and I will agree to do

Bush pompously shows up looking especially smug today and as the sermon progresses the Bishop begins his homily: "George Bush is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite and a nitwit. He is a liar, a cheat,and a low-intelligence weasel. He has lied about his military record and had the gall to put himself in a jet plane landing on a carrier posing before a banner stating 'Mission Accomplished' He invaded a country for oil and money, and is using it to lie to the American people. He is the worst example of a Methodist I've ever known. But compared to Dick Cheney and the rest of his cabinet, George W. Bush is a saint." Laughing

"When people refuse to obey, then democracy comes alive."
Howard Zinn
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Post Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 6:20 pm

Joined: 30 Jan 2006
Posts: 93

Question: How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to change a light bulb?

Answer: TEN...

1. one to deny that the light bulb needs to be changed,

2. one to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed,

3. one to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb,

4. one to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the light bulb or for darkness,

5. one to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Haliburton for the new light bulb,

6. one to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner:

"Lightbulb Change Accomplished,"

7. one administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally in the dark,

8. one to viciously smear #7,

9. one surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb changing policy all along,

10. and finally one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.
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